These are some memories people wanted to share about Sander.

Dear Friends,

Please use your voices to support to Indonesia's National Commissioners of the East Timor Commission for Reception, Truth, and Reconciliation (for info, see http://www.pcug.org.au/~wildwood/reconciliation.htm). Together, we can bring those involved in Sander's death to justice.
anon.
- Sunday, February 03, 2002 at 17:40:55 (UTC)

You remain close to our hearts and thoughts, dear Sander. We miss you terribly.

Andrew Forsyth (aforsyth@psg.ucsf.edu)
San Francisco, CA, - Friday, September 21, 2001 at 15:40:09 (GMT)

Sander,

I'm in Dili today, two years after your death. I drove out on the road by the sea. I just wanted to share with you a verse I like from a poem by Philip Larkin. It makes me think of you.

Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:
The sun-comprehending glass,
And beyond it, the deep blue air, that shows
Nothing, and is nowhere, and is endless.

Lots of love.
Andrea
- Friday, September 21, 2001 at 10:38:21 (GMT)

Sander,

I'm in Dili today, two years after your death. I drove out on the road by the sea. I just wanted to share with you a verse I like from a poem by Philip Larkin. It makes me think of you.

Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:
The sun-comprehending glass,
And beyond it, the deep blue air, that shows
Nothing, and is nowhere, and is endless.

Lots of love.
Andrea
- Friday, September 21, 2001 at 10:33:45 (GMT)

Sander,

I'm in Dili today, two years after your death. I drove out on the road by the sea. I just wanted to share with you a verse I like from a poem by Philip Larkin. It makes me think of you.

Rather than words comes the thought of high windows:
The sun-comprehending glass,
And beyond it, the deep blue air, that shows
Nothing, and is nowhere, and is endless.

Lots of love.
Andrea
- Friday, September 21, 2001 at 10:32:18 (GMT)

Sander and I were hall mates our first year at Hampshire College and each remained in touch with mutual friends. I remember getting email from him from all around the world.

This month it'll be 2 years since I got the email from Hasok, the subject line I'll always remember: Very grave news.

The images born that day in my mind of the scene are still with me.

We held a small, intimate memorial of Bay Area Hampshire Alumns who knew Sander. We laughed more than we cried, felt him laughing with us and teasing us as we stood in a circle, holding hands and sharing memories.

Sander, I just wanted, like you, to say "High." ;-)
Celia White (celiawhite@hotmail.com)
San Francisco, USA - Friday, September 07, 2001 at 20:51:21 (GMT)

This is a nice site.
Xian (violentxian@hotmail.com)
Adelaide, Australia - Thursday, August 30, 2001 at 01:38:44 (GMT)

Sander, you bastard,

Here we are approaching the second year without you in our lives. Rather than feeling the pain of your loss subside, I just get angrier at you. For making such a point of befriending me, despite my frequent lapses in social skills. For ultimately becoming the closest friend I'd ever had over the years. For sharing with me so much of yourself, your life, your thoughts. For listening to mine. Only to die.

I hear music all the time that reminds me of you. I often think to myself, "christ, I should tape this for Sander". And then I catch myself.

I'm still waiting for an email from you. Can you believe it? As if we'll just pick up the debate after all this time. I was right, you know; but more than that, I was worried about you.

I know it's selfish of me to be pissed. I don't care. It's just that now, as my life changes and introduces some many new challenges that I could share only with you, I feel your absence ever more acutely.

I miss you tremendously. As do your family and friends all over the world. I'll never forget you, but I'll never forgive you either.


memorialforsander.org
- Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 17:29:57 (GMT)

Sander, you bastard,

Here we are approaching the second year without you in our lives. Rather than feeling the pain of your loss subside, I just get angrier at you. For making such a point of befriending me, despite my frequent lapses in social skills. For ultimately becoming the closest friend I'd ever had over the years. For sharing with me so much of yourself, your life, your thoughts. For listening to mine. Only to die.

I hear music all the time that reminds me of you. I often think to myself, "christ, I should tape this for Sander". And then I catch myself.

I'm still waiting for an email from you. Can you believe it? As if we'll just pick up the debate after all this time. I was right, you know; but more than that, I was worried about you.

I know it's selfish of me to be pissed. I don't care. It's just that now, as my life changes and introduces some many new challenges that I could share only with you, I feel your absence ever more acutely.

I miss you tremendously. As do your family and friends all over the world. I'll never forget you, but I'll never forgive you either.


memorialforsander.org
- Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 17:29:39 (GMT)

Sander, you bastard,

Here we are approaching the second year without you in our lives. Rather than feeling the pain of your loss subside, I just get angrier at you. For making such a point of befriending me, despite my frequent lapses in social skills. For ultimately becoming the closest friend I'd ever had over the years. For sharing with me so much of yourself, your life, your thoughts. For listening to mine. Only to die.

I hear music all the time that reminds me of you. I often think to myself, "christ, I should tape this for Sander". And then I catch myself.

I'm still waiting for an email from you. Can you believe it? As if we'll just pick up the debate after all this time. I was right, you know; but more than that, I was worried about you.

I know it's selfish of me to be pissed. I don't care. It's just that now, as my life changes and introduces some many new challenges that I could share only with you, I feel your absence ever more acutely.

I miss you tremendously. As do your family and friends all over the world. I'll never forget you, but I'll never forgive you either.


memorialforsander.org
- Tuesday, July 03, 2001 at 17:29:28 (GMT)

Sander, I discovered this site 5 minutes ago and I want to take this oppurtunity to explain to you while I didn't return your call you left on my HP just before you left fro Dili. I was in New Zealand ( did have a fabulous time) and when I returned to Bali and swithced on the HP, There was your message asking if we could get together. I guess you wanted to know if I was available for breakfast or lunch while you are transitting on your way to Dili. Well, now you know whay i didn't call you back. I am so so sorry.
Also, I want you to know that recently I was introduced to Ian and what a wonderful person he is. We had brunch at the American Club. I told him to call me again when he is in town next.
I will visit this site from time to time to talk to you again, Miss you so much, Klemens

Klemens F Affandy (klemsrob@indo.net.id)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Sunday, May 27, 2001 at 05:22:35 (GMT)

I read about Sanders death in the local newspaper in Kalimantan the
morning after.  It carried a photograph that bore no resemblance to him and misspelt his name, but the Jakarta Post confirmed that it indeed was
Sander.  People talked about it everywhere here --
I overheard conversations in buses, the post office and on the streets.
The next day a smaller paper had a photograph of peace keeping troops
carrying his coffin which was flown out to Darwin.  Sander Theones will be more than just a war statistic in this madness here.  It seemed to me that a large number of people, local and international mourned his death. 

I had met Sander about a month ago in Jakarta.  I would always call
him whenI needed any help in Indonesia.  We had coffee at the hotel where he had just met some representatives from an American firm.  He answered all my questions quickly and guessed any more that I would have had.  The man was a
walking encyclopedia and was a great place to get information and
adviceregardless of what the topic was.  He talked quickly, interrupted
often and liked to draw maps
on napkins.  He had great stories to tell -- a spat with a Kazak
minister, a trek through Papua New Guinea and so on (he could have narratyed any of his stories with equal ease in English, Russian,
Dutch and Indonesian.)  Sander was rarely sentimental (he might have
been a bit with closer friends) but we did reminisce about Hampshire and the people we know.  He talked fondly of his friends Aaron Rudelson and Sandy Wolofsky.
We may never know what exactly happened.  Many people said that he was simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.  But he must have been
there for some of the right reasons.
My deepest condolences to his family, his partner and his friends.

Sandeep Ray, Hampshire College

Sandeep Ray (sandeepray@hotmail.com)
Boston, USA - Tuesday, May 01, 2001 at 15:46:15 (GMT)

Lieve nabestaanden,

Via deze weg wil ik in ieder geval van de mogelijkheid gebruik maken om alle dierbaren van Sander veel sterkte toe te wensen met dit vreselijke verlies.
Maar ook wil ik jullie bedanken omdat zonder dat jullie daar bewust van zijn ik via deze site een levensteken heb ontvangen waar ik (en de andere familie) al vier jaar op zit te wachten. Tot mijn plezier vond ik namelijk een berichtje van mijn nichtje Esther terug, die vandaag precies een week geleden gereageerd heeft. Helaas heeft ze geen mailadres achtergelaten, maar wil via dit register graag van de gelegenheid gebruik maken om een oproep aan haar te doen.

Lieve Es, na een stilte van vier jaar zijn wij heel blij om in ieder geval te weten dat je leeft. We missen je namelijk vreselijk. Ik hoop dat je mij een mailtje wilt sturen om te laten weten hoe het met je gaat en waar je je ongeveer bevindt. Als je niet wilt dat wij dit exact te weten komen waar je zit is dat natuurlijk geen probleem, maar ik zou je graag een mailtje willen sturen over thuis.
Ik hou van je meissie en mis je vreselijk. Iedereen zou je graag weer willen zien, horen of iets van je lezen, zeker oma.
Veel liefs,
Micha
Micha Klei (michaklei@hetnet.nl)
Den Helder, Nederland - Friday, April 20, 2001 at 09:04:38 (GMT)

Ik wist het niet tot nu. Bijna 1.5 jaar later.
Sterkte iedereen.
I think of you and your loss
E. Thoenes
- Friday, April 13, 2001 at 19:09:19 (GMT)

Ik wist het niet tot nu. Bijna 1.5 jaar later.
Sterkte iedereen.
I think of you and your loss
Esther
- Friday, April 13, 2001 at 19:08:54 (GMT)

Dear Sander and all who knew him,
I've just read through the comments on this page, after a long absence and that day over a year ago does indeed come flooding back. I too recently left Indonesia and amid the emotion of doing so had a strange experience upon arrival in Singapore, through which I was transiting.

While walking towards the immigration area, I noticed a man walking towards me who was the absolute image of Sander: the same lankiness, the same sandy, curly hair, the same walk. I stopped dead in my tracks and watched him walk right up to me and then past me. I turned and watched him walk purposefully down the corridor until at last he disappeared from my line of vision.

With tears in my eyes, I just stood there, rooted to the spot. Given that we had just held the JFCC fund-raising ball in Jakarta for Sander - and I had just said goodbye to Indonesia - I was already feeling emotional. But somehow, it seemed like what happened in Singapore meant something. Like he was saying goodbye as I too was saying goodbye.

I'm now living in New York and continue to watch with dismay the still precarious situation in Indonesia.

Ian, Peter, Margreet, Eveline, Sander's mum and dad, Boris, I hope you're all doing OK. At least through this website, we can all stay in touch, have a sort of global meeting place. Visiting the site just now was like recovering old friends. I
think Sander would have liked that.
Lots of love,
Grainne

Grainne McCarthy (gmm70@columbia.edu)
New York, USA - Monday, October 16, 2000 at 01:17:34 (GMT)

It wouldn't take me long
To tell you how to find it,
To tell you where we'll meet.
This little girl inside me
Is retreating to her favourite place.

Go into the garden.
Go under the ivy,
Under the leaves,
Away from the party.
Go right to the rose.
Go right to the white rose

For me

I sit here in the thunder,
The green on the grey.
I feel it all around me.
And it's not easy for me
To give away a secret
It's not safe,

But go into the garden.
Go under the ivy,
Under the leaves,
Away from the party.
Go right to the rose.
Go right to the white rose

For me

Go into the garden,
Go under the ivy,
Go under the leaves, for me.
Go right to the rose.
Go right to the white rose
I'll be waiting for you.

It wouldn't take me long
To tell you how to find it.

(Kate Bush - Under the Ivy)


- Tuesday, September 26, 2000 at 21:17:22 (GMT)

was it a year ago that I walked into the office to discover that you were killed? i can't figure out if it feels like a long time ago, it is so clear it could have been yesterday. but so much has happened. and Indonesia has disappointed me in every way. it has turned so ugly, i had to leave. thousands of people have been killed as conflicts and wars grow. three foreign UN workers were killed in west timor. there is no justice. there is no accountability, there is only impunity. indonesia blatantly disregards the value of life and the world accepts it. when will there be justice?
you are in my thoughts and i offer loving support to your family and fans around the world.
kate
kate linebaugh (klinebaugh@bloomberg.net)
hong kong , china - Friday, September 22, 2000 at 02:34:56 (GMT)

A year has passed since the courageous death of Sander, a talented, fearless reporter and delightful colleague. Knowing how anniversaries can bring on painful memories - and I hope, happy ones too - I offer warmest greetings to his loved ones from a fellow Russia-watcher who worked with Sander on the FT and greatly admired his work.
Bruce C
bruce clark (bruceclark@economist.com)
london, united kingdom - Thursday, September 21, 2000 at 15:25:45 (GMT)

Dear Sander

Until last year, September 21 was synonymous to the end of summer.

During the last years, I have come to admire you for your foresight. You were always at the right place, at the right moment. In Moscow, where you experienced two coups in a couple of years. In Jakarta, where you foresaw that many things would change in a revolutionary way. And change it did.

You were able to achieve a lot, to do what you were best in, because of your talent to be where history was about to be made. Thanks to your talent, you have lived many historic events which most other journalists can only dream about.

Last year, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time, for once. It proved to be fatal. Your name has gone around the world, but in a way you never imagined. All we can do now is to keep your memory alive.

From now on, September 21 is not the end of summer anymore. Never more.
I will always think of you on this day.


Boris Kester (Boris.Kester@alcazar.com)
Leiden, Netherlands - Wednesday, September 20, 2000 at 15:58:59 (GMT)

Dear Sander,

Last week I returned from East Timor after one year. It was the first time I went back after the evacuation. Strange feelings came over me by seeing the houses and the smell of the burned buildings. Even after one year you could still smell it...the terror and destruction of an army in defeat...My memories went back to that day one year ago when all of us journalists had to flee out of Timor as the Mahkota hotel was attacked...the woman with the child in her arms walking down the road while we evacuated the city in army trucks. Her face...the child..The quilt of leaving them alone.... The faces of the TNI soldiers....

This time the leaders of the new timor where speaking on a stage to remember the anniversary of their referendum for independence. In a ceremonie at the beach in front of the UNTAET building they commemorated the people who fell during their long struggle for a country and for some justice.

My memories went back to Jakarta and the day that we sent two planes with journalists to Timor...all of us wanted to go back...and there in Jakarta I met you for the first time. Even when we were both Dutch and working in Jakarta I did not meet you before. You seemed exited and came in with a group to see if you could get on the plane to Timor. The morning of the departure of the planes I once again met you briefly as all the other journalists anxious on going back to East Timor. Talking about the latest news and what to expect...
I did not go on the plane exhausted from weeks of work. That evening we worked another night in Jakarta to continue the satellite operation reports from a capital in chaos and a crisis in Timor. As my colleges had set-up television facilities already in Dili with the first wave of Australian troops, we stayed behind wondering how Dili would be....how the woman with the child would be..and how my colleges would be...

I went to bed in the early morning hours only to get a call a few hours later from a friend at the Dutch embassy.

Someone has died, we do not know who it is but it might be a dutch journalist. I call you back later. We might have to bring him back..do you know how to get the planes? I was not hearing it clear anymore... I gave the numbers and just looked silently out of the window of the hotel. For one hour I sat in the bath tub thinking....the water running....why, who?
The evacuation....the women and the child..should we have left in the first place..the planes..and getting back. The next call again...it is you...

In the next couple of days a lot of journalists returned I did not understand...why did they leave...why did we leave in the first place...you would not leave. I think you had seen a woman and child too along side the road...

One year later I still wander about the words justice sounding in Timor these days. As you know like all of us in Asia, Indonesia has a different understanding of justice. During the memorial in Jakarta I looked you in the eyes...I read some of your articles for the first time.... A blond dutch guy, just like me....many times I wandered why? and who you were...and I wandered about the woman with the small child..where is justice..As journalists from which ever country...we should not forget..I will not forget you and the woman and the child...I hope we can find some Justice...we have to, as journalists we have to investigate..track them down...find Justice. Even when it sometimes seems impossible...Like you would have...you would never leave....
Danny Duijs (joduijs@attglobal.net/joduijs@ibm.net)
Singapore, Netherlands - Wednesday, September 13, 2000 at 15:57:36 (GMT)

Sander,

Last saturday Margreet and I had a big party. We celebrated our 15 years of partnership and our wedding, at which you were my best man. It was a wonderfull event with many friends, kids, relatives, sunshine, music, dance. You would have loved it. In fact, you were there. In spirit, in portrait, in conversation and thought. You, who lived live to the max. You, who blessed our marriage. You, who was always kind to my partner, she still loves you. You are never far away.

Is the outside world forgetting you? Have they forgotten your horrible fate?
Is there any hope of some sort of justice?
Friends, relatives and collegues of Sander, what can we do to fight for a fair trial? If you stand by us, if you have any ideas or information, please send me a mail!

Sander, we will not give up. You wouldn't have....

Always yours

Peter
Peter Thoenes (pthoenes@wxs.nl)
Utrecht, Netherlands - Wednesday, August 30, 2000 at 21:32:38 (GMT)

Dear All,

I am now currently in Washington DC, USA. Two evenings ago, along with Dick Thoenes -sander's father- and other Financial Times people, I attended the National Press Club awards dinner. Sander was awarded 'Freedom of The Press' award (the highest possible honor in that occasion) for his article in the FT : Military manouvres, Prize for Independence.

it was a moving occasion for me personally as I was overwhelmed by both the honors that sander received and the painful longing for him to be there.

yesterday, Dick and I walked to the Freedom Park on the Newseum (news museum) in Arlington, VA, where Sander's name, alongside other journalists' killed during their duty, was etched in a very beautiful multicolored-transparent glass monument.

for all those who have left their messages in here, i thank you. And for Boris, thanks matey ! :)

Ian
Ian (nugrahane@hotmail.com)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Wednesday, July 19, 2000 at 14:53:32 (GMT)

Dag Broer (Dear Brother),
Finally I am visiting the country where you lived - I am in Jakarta right now with Ian. He and Harriet are taking very good care of me.
But everywhere I go, all the beautiful places we visited: you are not there. Even when we went to your old house, full of your own things, books, etc. I could not find you in any way.
You're gone from the face of the earth, but you'll always, always be in my heart.

Je zus

Eveline Thoenes (evelinecthoenes@yahoo.com)
Wageningen/Jakarta, the Netherlands - Friday, June 30, 2000 at 09:24:21 (GMT)

I knew Sander a few years ago in Russia. I was always struck by his optimism and his adaptability. As a young journalist, he was earnest and committed to uncovering truth through his work. As a human being, he was warm and interested in other people.

I might wish many evil things upon his killers, but violence should not be allowed to beget violence. And so I hope only that their lives are as miserable and joyless as Sander's was wondrous and full.
Anonymous
Moscow, - Thursday, June 29, 2000 at 10:32:01 (GMT)

I went to college with Sander and lived on the same hall with him for a semester. We were pretty close during that time and I have lots of fond memories (and a few incriminating pictures :) )of the times we shared.

I had lost touch with him and received our alumn news-magazine yesterday where I found blurbs by Sandy Wolofsky and Jon Kitzen regarding Sander's death. I am very deeply saddened by his murder.
Kirsten Hekler-Lewis (kirsten@doughnut.net)
Portland, OR, USA - Wednesday, June 14, 2000 at 19:13:40 (GMT)

The other night, I was chatting with Ian.
In our conversation, often Sander's name pops up.
It did that night!
I just realised how my memory of Sander remained clear in his absence.
For him I dedicate these words. An old song from Elton John.

One more arrow
Flying through the air
One more arrow landing on the spot somewhere
where the day and night blend into one
and he can always feel the sun
through the soft brown earth that holds him
Forever always young.


Arif Hasyim (arifarif@centrin.net.id)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Monday, May 01, 2000 at 00:31:47 (GMT)

Sander was my cousin, so I have known him from my early childhood until his very untimely and unacceptable death. We met eachother at birthday parties and family reunions, as we grew older. After my experience in the U.S.A. as a Fulbright Exchange Student, Sander and I talked about the possibility for him to go as well (he was one year younger than I am). He decided to participate in the same programme as I had done, and he enjoyed a 4 year college education in the U.S.A. Through the articles he wrote, from different countries in the years that followed, I kept track of his adventures. When I was able to visit Moscow in 1992, we had a "date" and spend an evening together "on the town" by going to the traditional Moscow State Circus. Especially this memory comes to mind very often. I heard of his murder upon my return from my honeymoon and am still sorry I could not attend his memorial service. I think of him very often and wish his family strength and good memories to cherish and to share with eachother.
Jetty Gerritse (jetty.gerritse@freeler.nl)
Utrecht, The Netherlands - Thursday, April 27, 2000 at 17:47:25 (GMT)

Today it is the 21e of April
A year has past since the last time we saw Sander.
It was at the wedding of his brother, and our sister and daughter.
Nobody besides the bride and the bridegroom and their best men knew about the wedding.
It was a total set up for the rest of the family.
Sander, being the best man of his brother, had to come all the way from Jakarta.
He had to tell all kinds of poor excuses to his family for coming to the Netherlands.
The marriage was great, all those surprised faces when the ceremony began, and the time we spend that day together with only the near relatives of the bride and the bridegroom.
As referred, it was the last time we saw Sander.
It was a perfect day, a perfect day to remember.

Family van Rooijen
family van Rooijen (terhaar@etl.nl)
zwolle, netherlands - Friday, April 21, 2000 at 06:38:03 (GMT)

He was my wonderful stranger.
It is not to difficult to see the inner light of a kind man. Me and Sander were not friend, I only saw him a couple of time during a press conference in Jakarta. The last time I saw him was in Semanggi (Semanggi Tragedy I, 1998).
I was in Jakarta Sept,22,1999. Strange thing happen to me that Wednesday morning in my sleep, just before I woke up. I could hear a voice of a terribe pain. A man's voice. Such a sad and painful scream from a man.
Later on that day, I heard a news of his tragic death.
God, I couldn't sleep well for seven nights. How could a stranger made me cry for seven nights? Some nightmare came in my dream. One night I saw him in my dream, as he wanted to say to me to let him go. His face was so sad.
It did not stop there. I don't remember what day, but certainly was one of those seven day, I heard another voice in my ear while I was sleeping, just before I woke up. It said, " Eurico Guterres." I wonder if the voice tell me that the name indicated a person who had killed him. But I doubt it, because my ear could be totally wrong.
I stop crying and having nightmare after that seven nights, when I heard a news that he had already buried in Holland.
Months later, I asked a local lawyer in YLBHI, Irianto S, about a posibility to bring the murderer in Indonesian court -if there is any change murderer can be found. Accidentally, I heard Irianto's name also in my sleep.
This strange voices in my sleep made me crazy.
Maybe, it is because the inner light Sander gave to everybody around him. Any one who seen him might just fall in love. I could fall in love, if I found that sooner. As a love for a thousand kind people in the world who had gone before.
Up till now, I can't stop thinking about his tragic death, but unfortunatly, I have no more clue.
May he rest peaceful now.
Ririn Wulandari (riwul@yahoo.com)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Sunday, April 16, 2000 at 11:29:03 (GMT)

I only met Sander 3 times. It was East Timor, August 1999. I was developing a photostory on the UN Referendum and he was working on his own story. One time we had a beer in the Makhota hotel together with some other journalists and were talking about what happened during that day; together with Gerrit and Sander
we drove to a little chinese restaurant. Next to the owner and an australian jouralist, nobody was there; gerrit and Sander discussed with him; the australian thought the present media in E-Timor was on the side of the independence movement and he was of the opinion the media should pay more attention to the pro-independence side as well..Sander and Gerrit took their food and dorpped me off at my hotel and continued their way to their own place.

2 weeks later I am back in Holland and I am reading the news from the internet about the recent developments in E-Timor; there are rumours a journalist has been killed..I make a phone call to one of his editors in Holland..Yes it is Sander Thoenes, he has been killed. I feel numb and sad..May he live in peace..
Siem Vaessen (siem@webcode.nl)
Amsterdam, the netherlands - Sunday, April 09, 2000 at 11:19:35 (GMT)

This is for the parents
I am a journalist,a parent and Iam religious. I hope that this Poem helps you through the difficult momentst


To all parents



I'll lend you for a little time a child of mine, God said..
for you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he's dead. It
may be for six or seven years, or twenty-two or three; but will you, till I call him back, take care of him for Me? He'll bring his charms to
gladden you; and should his stay be brief, you'll have his lovely memories
as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return, but there
are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn. I've looked the
wide world over, in search for teachers true. And from throngs that
crowd life's lanes I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love nor think the labor vain. Nor
hate Me when I come to call, to take him back again? I fancied that
I heard you say; “Dear Lord, Thy Will be done. For all the joy
Thy child will bring, the risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may. And
for the happiness we have known forever grateful stay. And should the
angel call him much sooner than we've planned, we'll brave the bitter
grief that comes and try to understand.

Edgar A. Guest.





Hennah Draaibaar (draairef@sr.net)
Paramaribo, Suriname - Friday, April 07, 2000 at 17:41:19 (GMT)

I am neither a journalist nor a 'friend' of Sander's although I talked to him frequently because of my profession. I arranged an interview for him (mostly by e-mails) with a client, was present there during the interview, chatted with him before and after the interview.
The article appeared in FT of Sep. 16.
Can you imagine my first reaction hearing his death a week later ? My jaw dropped and my spontaneous urge was to hit my comp and send him e-mail saying : "it's not you Sander ? Nooo ....."
Now the article by Susan Sim (Straits Times) about "Killed newsman exposed US$ 250m scandal) of Sep. 23 is framed nicely in my room in the office, a loving memory of Sander Thoenes, the polite, talkative, ever responsive foreign journalist that I knew only through work ....
Sleep in peace, my dear Sander !
Liya Djajadisastra (liya@indo.net.id)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Thursday, March 23, 2000 at 05:43:49 (GMT)

I worked with UNAMET for 2 months and fell in love with the country and people of East Timor. I guess Sander had the same experience. I should like to dedicate the following poem to his memory:

TIMOR LORO SAE
Mattahoi, Viqueque, East Timor
Blossoms from the earth
Watered by Matebian's rivers.
Do the clouds kiss the ground
To ease the pain?

Crosses on the sky
The resurrected crucified again.
Do the spirits of the dead
Sigh with the wind?

Waves upon the shore
The many murdered never still.
Can all the waters of the world
Stain blood the same as rain?

Fire in the heart
The waters of oppression cannot quench.
Will all the myriad voices sing again
To chorus freedom's birth?

Timor Loro Sae
Land of the sleeping crocodile.
Can your children's smiling faces
Turn angry guns away?

Gareth W R Smith
Gareth Smith (shame_australia_shame@hotmail.com)
Byron Bay, Australia - Sunday, March 19, 2000 at 12:15:34 (GMT)

Sander impressed everyone with his sincerity and his courage. He displayed this repeatedly in the streets in Jakarta where he and a small band of journalists were invariably on the scene as students marched for Democracy. These demonstrations usually ended with teargas, baton beatings and sometimes shooting. Sander was always on the scene -- because of his height and sandy hair - easy to identify in a crowd of young Indonesians. His excellent language skills, his gregariousness and his thorough knowledge of the tides that these street confrontations took ensured a very sound grasp of where things were headed -- accounting for the remarkable accuracy of his reporting.

But despite his personal commitment to the causes espoused by those seeking to end the repressive rule of the military and big money, he was infallibly objective. For those of us who would sometimes get caught up in the heat of developments, his sober analysis and insistence that allegations against the regime be checked were sometimes jarring but necessary.

Sander was one of a core of brave young and not so young journalists whom I came to know in my three years in Indonesia. Their courage was special. As a diplomat, I realized that in the streets of Jakarta or in East Timor, I had a margin of safety that journalists did not have. They could be and often were harassed by the authorities and could be thrown out -- or worse. But at the same time, their courage and integrity enabled them to influence the course of events in ways that foreign diplomats could not.

In East Timor, their success in exposing the brutality of the Indonesian military and Regime was widely perceived - and they were hated by the military for the role they had played. They had functioned as witness and conscience for the international community which had at last begun to react to its humanitarian obligations in East Timor. Operating with the impunity afforded by three decades of failed justice, the bitter losers who confronted Sander were out for blood - and journalists, especially Western journalists, were fair game.

What happened to Sander could have happened to any of the journalists who had gone back to East Timor at that dangerous time, but it happened to Sander, in part because he was, as he was so often, on the front line - taking the point.
Ed McWilliams
U.S. Embassy Jakarta, 1996-99
Ed McWilliams (McWilliamsEX@state.gov)
Washington, U.S.A. - Sunday, March 19, 2000 at 6:29:31 (GMT)

Sander Thoenes death was untimely in every sense of the word. But his spirit lives on in Timor Loro Sae. His spirit is carried by the wind through the trees, skims the suface of the waters, into the valleys, to the top of Ramelau.
East Timor Ireland Solidarity Campaign (etisc@indigo.ie)
Dublin, Cork, Belfast, and Limerick, Ireland - Saturday, March 18, 2000 at 18:07:52 (GMT)

What can be said. Well he was a journalist in every sense of the word. but he was much more than that. He was a human being with values that cut through the indifference to human suffering. He had what is so often missing in our world today, human decency. One thing is certian and that is that the people of East Timor will keep his memory alive.
Tom Hyland (etisc@indigo.ie)
Dublin , Ireland - Saturday, March 18, 2000 at 17:59:30 (GMT)

First of all, I would like to say my deepest thanks to Sander for everything that he had done including the sacrifice of himself for the Liberation of East Timor. East Timorese will never forget Sander in the history of East Timor liberation.
Secondly, thank you very much to Sander's family,realitvsand friendsfor having a person like Sander.
"Obrigadu barak ba Sander, nia familia, nia parente no maluk hotu! Timor Loro Sae sei la haluha Sander iha nia historia."
Maleto Mau (mali78@hotmail.com)
Dili, Timor Loro Sae (East Timor) - Saturday, March 18, 2000 at 17:24:00 (GMT)

To all -
I had the good fortune to know Sander Thoenes during our years at Hampshire College, where I attended from 1987 to 1992.
The easy part: I remember Sander as a warm and likable man, a "good fellow" as we used to say back when that seemed a genuine compliment and not a oversimplification. He was involved with the newspaper, the Permanent Press.
We shared a class or two, but it would be an exaggeration to say we were close friends. But I knew him, and was shocked to hear of his death.
I am impressed but not surprised at his journalistic success. He seemed to have a great talent for journalism and a way of cutting to the truth of matters without being intrusive or vicious in any way.
I am writing this off the top of my head, so forgive me if it seems a little disjointed. The surprise of finding a "classmate" that has been executed in an apparent political crime is impossible to describe in words. We are in our thirties! We're too young to die, to be pulled into the events of the world and taken down by stray bullets, by conspiracies, by the violence of the world! Sander isn't the kind of person that people murder! For God's sake, who would ever dislike him?
How dare they?
I lost my older brother Michael five years ago in New Orleans, the result of a vicious and genuinely pointless attack from people sharing an apartment with him. One of his murderers has been convicted and sentenced to a life sentence in Louisiana prison. Justice, I suppose, but it doesn't bring Mike back.
I am shaking as I read this. I remember vividly going numb the first time I heard about Mike, the bewilderment of imagining that I would never see him again, that at the age of twenty-nine he would never grow old enough to see thirty. I remember thinking how unfair it was that there was (at the time) no one to blame, no disease or cancer, no face to attach to a crime. He was just gone.
I will remember and miss Sander as a good man. He was my friend. I can actually hear his voice in my mind as I write this. All my best to his family and loved ones. Thank you, also, to the responsible parties who have created the memorial. It's a touching and heartfelt tribute.
My strongest hopes that you can find the responsible parties and bring them to justice. East Timor and Indonesia are a broken community right now, and it may be foolish to hope that all the facts will surface in crystal clarity. But it's what he deserves. Either way, I believe Sander did too much good work while he was here for his death to have happened in vain.
Thomas P. Vasquez (tpv525@yahoo.com)
Lynnwood, Washington, U.S.A. - Wednesday, March 2, 2000 at 1:44:46 (GMT)

Sander and I had the common experience of being expatriates in Indonesia, and we were becoming very good friends. I miss having discussions with him, usually serious, sometimes silly. He had an amazing mind and such a positive persective on life. I remember a disagreement we had about love and relationships: I was the jaded one at that point, and Sander made a very simple observtion which helped me open my eyes to what I already had. I miss him.
Syahid G. S. (ysg@centrin.net.id)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Thursday, January 20, 2000 at 04:52:36 (GMT)

dear eveline and boris, I have to say I am amazed by the great job you did last night. when I left you, I couldn't imagine you would have gone so far in such a short time! congratulations for the beautiful site! I hope it will be as alive and colourful as sander -this is the way I have learnt to know him through your stories-.
daniela (ododc@odontologi.gu.se)
gothenburg, sweden - Monday, December 13, 1999 at 20:41:01 (GMT)

Great website! I had never known Sander physically. Maybe because either Sander or me was always busy with our job. We knew each other only on the phone. When I wrote an interesting story taken and translated from a local newspaper, he always called me. I've always remembered the first words he always said when starting the conversation: ''Christine, selamat pagi. Apa kabar?'' before asking about the article. Nice to hear that he always remembered my name and exchanged greetings while we had never met each other.
Christine T. Tjandraningsih/Kyodo News (chrisjkt@rad.net.id)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Monday, December 13, 1999 at 15:06:02 (GMT)

Boris and Eveline, you have done a great job! The Jakarta Foreign Correspondents Club - of which Sander was an extremely active member - also has a JFCC site that we are getting up and running which will have a special Sander page. We will put a link to yours. As we approach the end of the year, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the year that was, the hectic year we've all experienced here in Indonesia. This of course leaves me with a lot of sadness about Sander. My thoughts are with his loved ones and family as we head into the festive season, which I know will be tough. By the way, that's a really lovely photo of Sander there on the site. He looks like the world is his oyster. All the best, Grainne xxx (Dow Jones and JFCC, Jakarta)
Grainne McCarthy (grainne.mccarthy@dowjones.com)
Jakarta, Indonesia - Monday, December 13, 1999 at 14:07:56 (GMT)

Memories are not easy to live with. Sander, East Timor, Indonesia. I am on my way to Holland to leave it al behind for one month. This site is one of the small good things that developed from it all. Congratulations that it's there. I'm looking forward to visiting it in the future. But at the moment Indonesia is just a little to much. Gerrit
Gerrit de Boer (gerrite@ibm.net)
Jakarta, - Monday, December 13, 1999 at 02:38:36 (GMT)

As we are about to publish the first version of this memorial page for Sander, we would like to invite you to leave your message here (be it humerous, sad, serious or whatever you want to share with the world). Your contribution will certainly be appreciated by all visitors. Right now we really want to go to bed and sleep, since it is already past midnight (on a Sunday evening; that means tomorrow's a Monday morning). Eveline really has a bad cold and won't stop sneezing and complaining about this cold attic (Boris's bedroom), and Boris won't stop scanning and retouching Sander's pictures. Although we are having a nice time listening to Kate Bush music (which was one of Sander's favourites), we reckon this preliminary version of the memorial site is good enough to be put on the web. Anyway, now is the time to leave this first message here, as an example for everybody who reads this. Hope to hear from you soon..!
Eveline & Boris
Wageningen/Leiden, The Netherlands - Sunday, December 12, 1999 at 23:30:21 (GMT)